NeighborHoods??

Our neighbors are so awful that we don't know what to do!

Although we can't be certain, still, we think these things are true--

They break into our home, & then spill syrup on the rug.

They leave the milk out constantly, & break a favorite mug.

 They borrow several tools that we find later on the lawn;

Put empty boxes in the cupboard once the cereal's gone.

Then lots of things just disappear--we don't know where they went.

And unexplained possessions end up dirty, cracked or bent.

 They leave the bird cage open, & the back gate open, too;

And leave the lids off peanut butter, jelly jars and glue.

        We know we should confront them,

        But don't want our friendship wrecked.

Our kids say they're not doing this.... 

                        ....who else can we suspect??

[ It is soooooo true that especially in a BIG family, you somehow end up with things happening that "nobody did"!  I don't know if it's because someone isn't brave enough to tell the truth, it's easier to just say nothing, or because in the ruckus of it all, the person really doesn't realize that they're the one who actually did it!

Helping kids learn to tell the truth when it's hard is something we all probably hope to be able to instill in our children, but that's easier said than done.  John, our oldest son, was always amazingly truthful when he was growing up.  That hasn't been the case with all of our kids though, so they've probably had John's example explained a few thousand more times than they were interested in hearing.  But a main  point we make for them is this:

Honesty = trust, which = more FREEDOM

to have FUN with your FRIENDS.

This little gold nugget of wisdom was shared with us by one of our favorite mentors, the incredibly wonderful Dr. John Lund¹ when we were about a third of the way through raising our family.  Wish we'd heard it sooner!  He explains that although being an individual of honesty and integrity is one of the most important building blocks of character, teenagers may not care as much about their emerging characters "in the moment," as they do about being able to have fun with their friends.  Including items which are major motivators for our kids in our discussions on honesty will help give them an immediate day-to-day reason to want to have characters of honesty.

For example, the other day, I was taking Scott and his friend Adrian home from high school.  Although Scott is  good about taking care of his schoolwork and related assignments all on his own, I happened to ask him if he was keeping up on everything in all his classes. When he answered something like, "Basically....", I asked a couple more questions and learned that he was missing two or three assignments in one of his classes.  My standard little script, talking about how "if you always attend school, turn in every single assignment, and do a quality job, you will get good grades," was already running in my head as I asked him if it was because he didn't understand the work and needed help with the assignments.  There was a pause, and then Scott answered,

"No,  I already knew everything they were talking about, so I just didn't feel like doing them."  Rather than launch into any number of potential mommy lectures and possible discussions of consequences and so on, I thankfully had the wherewithal to take a step back, and realize that I had a golden opportunity before me to reinforce the principle of honesty.  I responded to him by laughing and saying,

"Well, Scott, parents like to know that their kids are doing all their homework because it's important.  But at least you're honest about it!  And always being honest no matter what, is the thing that's going to make us be able to trust you enough to give you the freedom to go do lots of fun things with your friends."  I figured that the homework issue itself could be addressed in other ways at another time, but that this chance was too good to pass up. 

There was silence for few moments, and then Adrian burst out laughing and said, "Wow, that's the last thing I expected.  I was waiting for Scott to get killed or something!" 

"Well, yeah. But, I decided it would probably be better to do away with him later, when you weren't around to be a witness, you know?"]

 ¹ From How to Hug A Teenage Porcupine , by Dr. John L. Lund, a set of 4 CDs

diets,

TV,

callings,

hamsters, snakes and other pets,

the Sabbath Day,

Halloween candy,

unmatched socks,

misunderstood Primary lessons,

being late,

guys and sports,

teenagers,

living prophets,

kids and food,

accidentally wearing two different shoes,

promptings of the Spirit,

being organized--or not

faithfully following Christ,

and lots more! 

It's pretty random since it's mostly about the often funny things from day-to-day life, mixed with some seriousness here and there.  And it's ALL about being an everyday LDS woman who wants to follow Christ!

See it HERE at Amazon.com!